yes, i am an angel. yep, i do have wings. and, oh yeah, i can fly a broom…women are versatile like that
if life throws you lemons… bring out the tequila!!!
Why do I have to grow up?..Isn’t it enough that I’ve learned how to behave in public…
I’m not mean, I just say what everyone else is thinking but are to afraid to say it themselves
My silence does not say that you have won the argument–it simply implies that you are not worth arguing with!
I don’t play “Hard To Get”, I play “Never Gonna Happen”
Is having a “I need to slap someone” kind of day ~Attitude~
There are 6 levels of stupidity… So, ah, how did you manage to make it to level 7?
It takes crazy to know crazy, and I think I just went pro.
oh hey! so i hear your with my ex now. that’s fine with me, I’m eating a sand witch. want those Left- overs too?
Temporarily out of my mind, will be back in 5 minutes…If i am not please read this again and wait!
My life’s not a fairytale, doesn’t mean I’m not a princess. My Prince Charming would surely come, if not a white horse, I’d settle for a white Porsche…
hates when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see!
Ever wonder if your guardian angel has gone out for a smoke?
My body may be getting older but my mind is in COMPLETE DENIAL! :)~
Never say “maybe” to a kid. All they hear is “I swear on my life that this will definitely happen.”
notices that when the best actors are chosen by other actors, it’s called the Oscars but when the best actors are chosen by the people, it’s called an election.
Your six and you have a cellphone? Who are you going to call, Dora?
How do you keep a blonde amused for ages? Get a piece of paper and write ‘Turn Over’ on both sides.
I’m not fat, I’m kidnap proof
I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by “Is it Raining?” Nope, decided to take the fish for a walk.
If you expect breakfast in bed, go sleep in the kitchen
My edit button is broken, my give a damn is busted, might not be a good idea to ask me what I think.
If you don’t want the truth, don’t ask me. If you want something sugarcoated, go eat a donut.